comique de la reine

Postado em January 30, 2008
Categoria cotidiano, opus | 2,568 comentários

Creio mesmo haver uma distinção especial entre as senhoritas que encontramos por razões puramente ocasionais e aquelas por quais procuramos ou, sendo simples, tencionávamos encontrar. 

Nos meus tempos de pasmaceira ousei, e nem sei se ousar é a palavra certa, mas me corrijo depois, ousei contrair namoro com uma pequena evangélica (que é muitas vezes diferente de uma cristã; eu adoro as cristãs). Digo nos tempos de pasmaceira não por tê-la namorado, mas por não tê-la corrompido. Chamava-se (e ainda deve chamar-se) Elisa. Moça alta, descarnada, inocente, irritantemente casta. Conheci-a no meu primeiro trabalho, numa época em que eu mesmo era um tanto modesto e aparvalhado. Apaixonamo-nos pelos motivos os mais obtusos e prosaicos: ela por achar-me “romântico” e “inteligente” e eu por ela achar-me “romântico” e “inteligente”. Com a polidez que me sempre caracterizou, perguntei-lhe um dia se ela gostaria de me namorar, ao que ela assentiu como se se tratasse de uma provação, no sentido que alguns evangélicos dão ao termo. O que então pensei foi: namorando-a, poderei enfim ir além desses beijos desérticos.  

A nossa afinidade durou cerca de um ano e teve seu ponto alto num dia como esses que aí estão, chuvosos. Como andávamos pela rua que levava à sua casa e tínhamos apenas um guarda-chuva, o acaso nos uniu num mesmo objetivo: não molhar o pulôver. Chegando ao portão de sua residência, quis lhe abraçar e o fiz, num arremesso inadvertido. Enquanto minha mão esquerda segurava com alguma firmeza o cabo do objeto que nos livrava relativamente da chuva, a outra, aflita, tocou-lhe o pescoço esguio e foi aos poucos descendo por um caminho por mim, naquele corpo, nunca outrora experimentado. Em seu arrebatamento, Elisa não percebeu de pronto a minha intenção: com os dedos consegui, através da gola rolê apertada (imaginem o meu prélio), pôr a mão sob o seu agasalho e, enfim, com um prazer desesperado e, depois soube, imbecil, consegui, vejam vocês, tocar-lhe o ombro esquerdo. 

Rompi com Elisa semanas depois, através de uma carta cruel inspirada num livro que lia na época, em que a personagem, uma atriz que interpretava Julieta, tal qual a personagem de Shakespeare, tomava veneno após ser desprezada pelo amado.  

*** 

Após a edificante experiência com Elisa, concentrei-me num objetivo grandioso: namorar uma bailarina. Aquelas curvas, o en dehors, aquela magreza e os movimentos à la Bolshoi intrigavam-me sobremaneira e eu não resistia à tentação de desejar ainda um pouco mais: que a bailarina fosse algo pervertida. Vários ingressos de teatro depois, fui apresentado a uma moça cuja pele, muito branca e muito lisa, me agradou profundamente. Abandonei a minha obsessão pelo universo do Quebra-Nozes quando a minha recém conhecida deliciosamente revelou-se praticante da Danse du Ventre, atividade condenada por Napoleão, que a considerava impura e demasiadamente libidinosa. Com a minha lasciva deusa matriarcal aprendi que ombros servem, afinal, para carregar a bolsa.

Comentários

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2,568 Comentários »

Scratch
2008-01-30 10:29:44

Até que essa Elisa era ousada! Onde já se viu uma evangélica namorar um cara “do mundo”?

Responder
Edson Junior
2008-01-30 10:34:21

Elisa amou-me por um ano e onze contos de réis.

Responder
ieda
2008-04-04 16:01:21

…ao menos Elisa sabe qual será o preço a pagar por tal desatino – ninharia…

(Comments wont nest below this level)
Responda aqui
 
 
 
Moisés
2008-01-30 10:59:02

Meu caso foi diferente: sempre quis uma moça com ares franceses. Não necessariamente francesa, ou com esse ascendência. Consegui: além de ares franceses, minha amada é de ascendência franco-germânica.

Responder
Edson Junior
2008-01-30 11:01:14

A minha hoje noiva também tem todo um quê europeu, e isso me mata, rapaz, me mata.

Responder
 
 
Margarida Pereira
2008-01-30 11:01:03

História deliciosa…, escrita com essa ‘petite variation’ tropical que nos obriga a pausar e a sorrir. E a aprender, também.
Um espaço muito bonito, este, caro E.J..
(chuva aí agora? sempre pensamos -deste lado do mar -que por esta altura estão aí com um “calor-de-ananáses” ! :) )
Quelle ignorance!

Responder
Edson Junior
2008-01-30 11:04:27

Alou, Margarida. Ontem pus seu nome no campo de busca do google e o que encontrei foi uma, creio, médica portuguesinha; será que é você?

Passe sempre por cá, podemos tomar um chá. Abraço.

Responder
 
 
Margarida Pereira
2008-01-30 11:24:11

Frio, frio, caro Edson :)
Café, pode ser?
O vosso é famoso…
Mas… ‘tanto mar, tanto mar’…

Responder
Edson Junior
2008-01-30 11:29:00

Um café, que seja um café.

Ah, sim, entre nós há esse velho Atlântico.

Responder
 
 
cassiane schmidt
2008-01-30 14:12:48

Com sua vênia,
Caro Bailarino das letras,
Permita-me comentar: garota de sorte esta tal de Elisa, ter em seus ombros o peso de suas mãos.
A metáfora foi-me inevitável.

Responder
Edson Junior
2008-01-30 14:19:15

Ah, ainda mais sortuda é a minha atual pequena. Mas não entremos nos méritos.

Responder
 
 
 
Tiago Cavaco
2008-01-30 16:58:42

Grande! Grande!

Responder
Edson Junior
2008-01-31 10:05:43

Olá, senhor Tiago.

Responder
 
 
Tarsis
2008-01-31 16:45:54

AHAHAHA….Ótimo post.

Bom, nem todas as “evangélicas” são pudicas, afinal.
Até onde sei muitas se especializaram na arte do sexo anal, afinal seria um sacrilégio entregar a virgindade, sempre ela, a fina membrana inútil que vive a desgraçar as mocinhas incautas!

Melhor assim. Teve um camarada meu que ao namorar uma casta filha de Deus por um certo tempo, ganhou o singelo apelido de “Dedinho”. Dá pra imaginar…

Abs!

T§

Responder
Edson Junior
2008-01-31 16:48:54

e nem todas são deveras evangélicas. abraço.

Responder
 
 
Hermenauta
2008-01-31 20:56:45

Olha, eu também namorei uma evangélica. Ela era adepta da perversão como caminho da conversão.

O dia em que eu resolver transformar meu blog em um destino mais picante, eu conto. :)

Responder
Ed
2008-01-31 23:31:00

“perversão como caminho da conversão” ? Rapaz, era duma dessa que eu precisava (que minha noiva não leia isso, oremos).

Responder
 
 
Cris
2008-01-31 22:11:59

Cleber me mandou uma parte do texto, elogiando-te. Vim ler o restante. Muito bom, mesmo = )

Responder
 
Ed
2008-01-31 23:31:51

Ei, Simon. Fazia tempo que não passavas por aqui. Obrigado. Abraço.

Responder
 
Rita Loureiro
2008-02-01 09:33:23

(Risos)

É vejo que te ler tem voltado ao gostinho original, da primeira história que me foi apresentada… Esqueci o título, aquela do casaco e das falácias.

Abraço

Responder
Ed
2008-02-01 23:09:17

O Amor é uma Falácia, Max Shulman.

Responder
 
 
Dayane
2008-02-01 16:54:26

Adoro tal texto. Era um casaco de marmota, se não me engano.

Responder
Ed
2008-02-01 23:10:58

Um casaco de, especificiamente, pele de marmota.

Responder
 
 
Joca
2008-02-04 09:14:02

Que tola essa Elisa. Tu de romântico, não tens nada.

Responder
Ed
2008-02-04 23:12:14

Imagine, sou um romântico vitoriano.

Responder
 
 
cândida
2008-02-25 15:21:26

pele de faneca da linha, mas é.
:)
abróteas e berbigão pa ti! ou, se for o caso, queijo do fedorento que dizem, ser muito bom.

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