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Postado em November 19, 2007
Categoria cotidiano | 437 comentários
No fim, eu sou o tipo de pessoa ensimesmada. Ando incomodado com a política, mas por vezes meu maior dilema é qual roupa escolher para ir a uma festa. Exemplo claro disso é que fui convidado por esses dias de feriado para o que chamam vulgarmente, e só poderia mesmo ser vulgarmente, chá de bebê, em casa de um amigo que tem outros amigos com os quais não me dou assim tão bem. Porque, ah, sim, eu sou um elitista, e o lugar não era, vocês me entendem, dos mais abastados, o que, claro, não me configura qualquer problema, pois, com uma educação refinada, dá-se bem em qualquer lugar. Contudo, a nossa boa conduta não elimina o destempero do outro. Mas o que eu dizia? Ah, sim. Não sabia que roupa pôr. O que vestir para essas ocasiões médias? Médias? Vá saber. Na dúvida, vesti-me bem, com um certo rigor, sem exageros. Minha pequena, ao lado, sussurrava que eu estava “arrumado demais”, o que achei por bem entender como um elogio. Desnecessário dizer que, ao chegar no lugar, eu parecia alguém muito importante que precisou descer alguns degraus da pirâmide para lá dar o ar de minha graça. Encontramos, eu e minha inglesinha, uma mesa vazia num bom ponto – ideal para flagrar os excessos das gentes – e lá ficamos, a conversar, mantendo-nos alheios àquele universo. O meu pudor nessas situações é incomensurável, eu não saberia como contá-lo. Ver as pessoas brigando e falando alto por um pedaço de carne de churrasco é o tipo de cena para a qual eu não nasci, digo sinceramente.
***
Sobre a minha ausência aqui por essas paragens, tenho que dizer que a minha justificativa é das mais plausíveis: preguiça, enfado. Tenho uma personalidade muito estável e um humor nem tanto; vivo a perder a piada das coisas todas. Tenho uma certa propensão à melancolia e, quanto mais o tempo avança, mais eu me canso de falar e escrever e tratar desses assuntos que aí estão, à espera de um comentário impertinente. E não me refiro somente ao âmbito do blogue, refiro-me à minha vida mesmo. Estou me tornando apático, uma pessoa para a qual a indiferença à maior parte de um todo é fim inescapável. O que não significa alienação, é preciso diferenciar as coisas.
***
Sou bastante avesso à poesia, isso desde há uns anos, quando eu decidi que seria avesso à poesia, depois de arriscar compor umas tantas páginas contendo uns versos vagos, rasos. Ontem à noite, esperando pelo jantar em casa de minha noiva, pego num livro na estante próxima e abro num poema, de Fernando Pessoa como Álvaro de Campos, que há muito não lia e que me fez um bem desgraçado:
Nunca conheci quem tivesse levado porrada.
Todos os meus conhecidos têm sido campeões em tudo.
E eu, tantas vezes reles, tantas vezes porco, tantas vezes vil,
Eu tantas vezes irrespondivelmente parasita,
Indesculpavelmente sujo,
Eu, que tantas vezes não tenho tido paciência para tomar banho,
Eu, que tantas vezes tenho sido ridículo, absurdo,
Que tenho enrolado os pés publicamente nos tapetes das etiquetas,
Que tenho sido grotesco, mesquinho, submisso e arrogante,
Que tenho sofrido enxovalhos e calado,
Que quando não tenho calado, tenho sido mais ridículo ainda;
Eu, que tenho sido cômico às criadas de hotel,
Eu, que tenho sentido o piscar de olhos dos moços de fretes,
Eu, que tenho feito vergonhas financeiras, pedido emprestado sem pagar,
Eu, que, quando a hora do soco surgiu, me tenho agachado
Para fora da possibilidade do soco;
Eu, que tenho sofrido a angústia das pequenas coisas ridículas,
Eu verifico que não tenho par nisto tudo neste mundo.
Toda a gente que eu conheço e que fala comigo
Nunca teve um ato ridículo, nunca sofreu enxovalho,
Nunca foi senão príncipe – todos eles príncipes – na vida…
Quem me dera ouvir de alguém a voz humana
Que confessasse não um pecado, mas uma infâmia;
Que contasse, não uma violência, mas uma cobardia!
Não, são todos o Ideal, se os oiço e me falam.
Quem há neste largo mundo que me confesse que uma vez foi vil?
Ó príncipes, meus irmãos,
Arre, estou farto de semideuses!
Onde é que há gente no mundo?
Então sou só eu que é vil e errôneo nesta terra?
Poderão as mulheres não os terem amado,
Podem ter sido traídos – mas ridículos nunca!
E eu, que tenho sido ridículo sem ter sido traído,
Como posso eu falar com os meus superiores sem titubear?
Eu, que venho sido vil, literalmente vil,
Vil no sentido mesquinho e infame da vileza.
***
Há aqui umas outras coisas, uns recortes, alguma pornografia soft etc. Vou ler alguns blogues agora. Ver o que há.
As pessoas fazem churrascos demais.
E com carne ruim.
A coisa devia ser desestimulada. Afinal, contribui para o aquecimento global. Puxa, acabo de descobrir a desculpa perfeita para não tomar parte em tais celebrações.
Rapaz, aí está algo que eu não havia pensado.
É porque vocês jamais comeram um verdadeiro churrasco, ok? Com carne boa. Aliás, amigo do amigo Ed, os gases das vacas contribuem BEM MAIS para o aquecimento global. :)
Deixem de ser naturebas. Arranjem desculpa melhor pra fobia social de vocês. Ou melhor, usem essa, mas nunca jamais deixem de comer um bom churrasco de picanha bem gorda suculenta. Nham!
Mas é claro que já comi um bom churrasco, ora bolas. O que incomoda são certos tipos de convidados.
Mas você é do sul, né? Vocês têm fama de churrasqueiros:-)
É… somos, sabe? Até eu flor de guria, delicada que só vendo, sei fazer um bom churrasco. Bah!
Mas admite que vale mais uma vaca bem assadinha com gostinho de vaca assadinha no prato do que várias delas soltando gases tóxicos por aí. Pro aquecimento global, claro. Se eu pudesse, comia carne de vaca artificial, se tivesse mesmo sabor e proteínas etc.
Sou carnívora. Compreendo perfeitamente seu mal estar na festa. Roupa acima da ocasião, maneiras idem, deve ter sido um sentimento de estar deslocado bastante intenso. Já estive deslocada em festas. Faço o mesmo; um cantinho escondido para ao menos comer e acenar aos conhecidos.
Triste é pensar que poderias ter usado o tempo de forma diferente e mais deliciosa que qualquer churrasco.
Oi, Tina. Chegou quase na hora do chá=]
Sim, senti-me deveras deslocado no lugar, mas acontece que eu não podia faltar, por uma questão de educação mesmo.
Quanto a coisas mais deliciosas que churrasco, eu tenho me esbaldado, Tina, me esbaldado.
Abraço.
“Fernando de Pessoa como Álvaro de Campos”? Conserta esta porra neste instante! Now! Que absurdo!
Esse é um dos melhores poemas dele – só não ganha das cartas de amor estúpidas porque é meigo e daquele que diz que, quem nada foi nem nada é não será nada. Ah! – …Sei todinho de cor. Sei interpretá-lo dentro de mim com voz e suor e cheiro de suor. Eca. Só o ator daquela peça que te falei quando te conheci o faz melhor. Não fales jamais o nome de Pessoa em vão. Ele é Deus. E tenho dito.
Deus do céu, Ju, obrigado.
Rá!
Fernando Pessoa (e seus heterônimos) entrou na minha vida quando eu tinha 15 anos, no quarto ginásio. Minha mãe(sempre) comprou as obras completas da Aguilar, papel “bíblia”. Decorei os nomes assim: Alberto Caeiro, o moderno; Álvaro de Campos, o lírico, do campo. Sempre me confundi.
O poema em linha reta é quase como O corvo foi para o Poe. Gosto de várias imagens, “enrolei os pés no tapete da etiqueta” “vil, reles, imundo” “arre! será que só há reis neste mundo?”
Gosto muito do Pessoa em inglês, de um poema chamado “D.T.” sobre o delirius tremens.
Deixei um comentário no post sobre política também. Beijinhos na noiva e um beijo para você.
Outro, querida. A noiva agradece.
Nunca li Pessoa em inglês. Se tiver algo aí, envie-me.
Já lhe disse que seus comentários, naquela decadência que chamo de blog, me assustam?
Ainda mais quando você resolve aparecer nos meus piores posts.
Tudo bem, tá perdodado :)
aparece no jornalesmas.blogspot.com
Lá moram outros blogueiros, que salavam a minha infame alma!
Abraço!
jornalesmas? Hahaha. Vou lá:-)
“Sobre a minha ausência aqui por essas paragens, tenho que dizer que a minha justificativa é das mais plausíveis: preguiça, enfado. Tenho uma personalidade muito estável e um humor nem tanto; vivo a perder a piada das coisas todas. Tenho uma certa propensão à melancolia e, quanto mais o tempo avança, mais eu me canso de falar e escrever e tratar desses assuntos que aí estão, à espera de um comentário impertinente. E não me refiro somente ao âmbito do blogue, refiro-me à minha vida mesmo. Estou me tornando apático, uma pessoa para a qual a indiferença à maior parte de um todo é fim inescapável. O que não significa alienação, é preciso diferenciar as coisas.”
Idem.
E olha bem, faz meses que essa poesia (estilo do qual também sou averso) está guardada nos meus arquivos, para ser postada dia desses. Bandido.
Abraço =)
Somos parecidos então. Misantropos.
A mesma poesia? Ha ha ha. Melhor procurar outra agora, huh?
Abraço.
[...] Blá blá Gol wrote an interesting post today!.Here’s a quick excerpt No fim, eu sou o tipo de pessoa ensimesmada. Ando incomodado com a política, mas por vezes meu maior dilema é qual roupa escolher para ir a uma festa. Exemplo claro disso é que fui convidado por esses dias de feriado para o que chamam vulgarmente, e só poderia mesmo ser vulgarmente, chá de bebê, em casa de um amigo que tem outros amigos com os quais não me dou assim tão bem. Porque, ah, sim, eu sou um elitista, e o lugar não era, vocês me entendem, dos mais abastados, o que, claro, não me confi [...]
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